I decided to start writing again. Almost out of a nagging necessity to record the mundane details of my life in a way that I could remember them. Mostly, it was because the past couple of months, my life has finally started to make sense again. I feel organized. I feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is actually closer. Most of all, I just feel happy.
I try to think of when writing went downhill for me, when it starting feeling like more of an obligation than something I did for fun. I’m pretty sure it was immediately after I started doing it as a source of income. Or maybe it was when the details of my life that made it sunny started falling apart. That said, I haven’t made a lot of decisions about this blog. I don’t know how much about my personal life I will share. I don’t know much of anything. But I do know that the past couple months, I’ve felt the need to write in a way that I haven’t felt in almost two years.
My name is Amanda, by the way. I’m really just assuming that anyone that clicked to read this knew that to begin with. But yes, my name is Amanda. I used to have a blog called Shamelessly Sassy. However, I’m not into paying thousands of dollars to get the domain back. So Shameless Sass will have to do for now. Anyway, updates if you do know me:
- Allie is now in first grade! She’s doing so great. She’s so smart, funny, and beautiful. Sometimes I just want to go all Rapunzel on her and put her up in a tower away from the harsh yet amazing world. Then go sing to her like the crazy bitch from Tangled in hopes that I’ll look younger. But truly, Allie’s just such a good kid. She’s thoughtful and sweet. She’s only lost two of her teeth, the bottom front ones. She has a sassy mouth. I just love everything about her. I truly couldn’t be happier she is mine , even on the days when she gives me a run for my money (most of them).
- (Yes!! If you remember Gary, Allie’s girl water baby with a boy name, she is still in the picture. And no! Allie doesn’t need the ace bandage. She is using it as a homemade baby carrier.
- I’m in PA school right now. It’s fun and challenging, yet I’m completely happy with it. It just feels like I’ve found my purpose, which is amazing!
- I’ve rediscovered my optimism. I can’t really tell you when or how. I have many ideas about what gears turned in my brain to make me happy again, but since I can’t nail down the secret to the return of optimism or faith in life itself, I don’t want to hand out advice. All I can say is that I hope everyone has it or finds it. It’s just pleasant. I’m happier in my life than I’ve ever been.
- If you read my blog before it ended, you probably know that my husband Adam and I separated before I quit writing. We never got back together. I think we both do our best to make sure that Allie leads a happy life , and she is our main concern, individually. This is the last time I’ll mention him here, because his life is his. He deserves privacy, even on the days when I’d like to scream.
- I still like a lot of quirky things. I still find humor in the strangest (and sometimes inappropriate) places. I’m still me, is what I’m saying. I guess I’ve aged, much to my chagrin, but aside from that, I still try to keep it real.
- Anyway, if you’re reading this, and you’ve read me before, I truly hope you are doing well. I’ve thought all the time about how much I missed hearing from the people that used to leave comments and send me emails. I’ve greatly missed the support, the advice, the laughs, the confessions. I’ve missed almost everything. Except trolls. Nobody misses them. Do you all even still call them trolls?
- I hope you all had a great Christmas or whatever it is you choose to do!!